A Letter: College Freshman
“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
September brings with it the promise of new beginnings. Life begins again in the fall. If you have just recently graduated high school, you may have made the huge decision to embark on a new adventure: attending college. Congratulate yourself for your accomplishments in high school! You have survived the awkward dances, balancing your workload for each class, juggling ever-changing relationships, and the stress of applying to schools to ensure a future for yourself. Your completion of high school has been the outcome of every single second of hard work you put into your academic career.
As you step into your new identity as a college attendee, know that no matter how big and scary the world may seem right now, you are capable of taking on any challenge. For everyone, college starts as uncharted territory. Now, planning may not ensure that there won’t be major roadblocks are challenges ahead. Rather than allowing yourself to worry, allow yourself to visualize what it is you wish to accomplish for the next few years and harness it as your driving force. Approaching your freshman year with this energy could potentially be a game-changer for your overall college experience beyond academics. I’m hoping that this post will give you some comfort and excitement about this chapter in your life! Below, I’ve outlined four great things to keep in mind as you start this school year.
There’s No “right” Way
This past May, I finished my first year of college. The first thing I wanted to do after finishing my last class and moving out of the dorm was hopping on to my computer and creating a master list of every single thing I wish I had done differently. Rather than creating the blog post as I originally intended, I decided instead to reflect on my freshman year over the summer and then decide how to approach it. Freshman year wasn’t perfect. I lived on Starbucks paninis, constantly struggled with my social anxiety, and spent most of my time and energy worrying if I was “doing college right.”
By the end of the second semester, I questioned if my university was truly the right place for me to be. But here’s the thing: there’s no “right” way to do college. We all get through it in our way and time. Be patient with yourself and keep in mind that constant comparison to those around you will have an impact on the way that you see yourself in the face of adversity (and in college, there’s a lot of it). Do yourself a huge favor and acknowledge your success without using the success of others as a guide. Competition in any academic setting will always exist. Handle it with grace and confidence in yourself.
Take Care of Yourself
Late fall will bring with it finals, over-exertion, and the possibility of getting sick. In a previous post of mine, “The College Invalid,” I provided some tips and tricks on how to 1. Stay as healthy as possible in sometimes less-than-sanitary environments and 2. How to treat your body when you’re sick. Without repeating myself fully, I’ll reiterate that maintaining your physical health is crucial for getting yourself through college. Your mental health is just as important to work on and protect. In reality, with all the great experiences that college brings, there will also be moments where you won’t be okay. Educating yourself on how to be kind to yourself during these moments is one of the best things you can do in life.
As someone who has dealt with ridiculously long bouts of heightened anxiety and depression so far during my college career, I can say with confidence that your mental and physical health should not take a backseat to your academic success. Do what you can to help yourself out. Do your research on how the school handles the mental and physical health of its students. Some universities provide an on-campus health clinic and/or therapy sessions. Learn the resources that can help you be the best you. It’s also really important to just allow yourself to breathe and do little things that make you happy. In the fall semester, after completing most of my tests and projects during the finals, a friend and I decided to go to spend a few hours at Disneyland. I ended up running through flashcards with her in every long line we ended up in but I felt the happiest I had been in a month. Pay attention to what brings a little light into your life and use it as a source of inspiration when you’re stuck in a rut.
Getting Along
Being in a new environment will come with a lot of amazing ways to develop and pursue new relationships with people from all backgrounds! From ice breakers to midterm projects, you’ll be constantly bringing people into your life. Take those opportunities to form new friendships and remain open to the new experiences they bring with them. But just like any other environment, not everyone will get along. My freshman year began with 10 people I called friends and ended with 3. The numbers dwindled, but the relationships that remained are extraordinary. I’ve learned a lot about myself from being in each friendship I had during the year. Balancing your social life, and learning from it, can often be emotionally draining or harmful to your wellbeing. W
hen those same friends have served as your support system, it can be challenging to let go of those relationships. Remember - always take the time to acknowledge your own emotions and act accordingly. Surround yourself with people who will support you in your endeavors and love you unconditionally. Avoid keeping people around purely for the company and don’t allow others to treat you as anything less than the amazing individual you are. Keep in mind that your time and effort will always be important in keeping relationships healthy and loving. As an out of state student, my friends have become a second family to me even when my school doesn’t always feel like a home away from home. Learn more about balancing your academic, social, and family life below.
Time Management is Big
You’ll realize pretty quickly that from the start, there will always be something to do! Your parents are no longer able to remind you as they once did to keep up with all homework assignments, get a full night’s sleep, or to remember to eat each meal. Although there is no “right” way to get through college, managing the time that you spend in college will always be necessary. In this past year, I have begun to use my planner for both my academics and social life. So, in essence, I have almost entirely transformed myself into a suburban mother that keeps her whole life in a planner. I don’t regret it. Jotting down my schedule every day and reviewing how I want to dedicate my time is another great reminder that my time and effort matter. Taking the time to meet a friend for lunch to catch up on current events means that not only am I developing my budding relationship but that I also know when work needs to be put on pause. Before starting college, I was told more than once that every year would come with more responsibilities and seemingly fewer hours in my day. I can now say that managing your time, as difficult as it may be, is the solution to this problem. Managing your time can prove to be a challenge (hello 15 page English papers) but knowing how to balance your time will always be in your favor.
Finally, remember that your college students will only be yours! It won’t be the same as your parents in the 1990s or as your best friend that you met in Mathematics 101. It also won’t be the same as the most “successful” student you know. Don’t base your college experience on what you think it needs to be but what it can potentially be. College truly is a period of growth and transformation. Let yourself make mistakes and learn from them. Take advantage of your experiences and allow yourself to evolve into the young adult you know you can be. In other words, always be the cauliflower, not the cabbage.
Xx, Maya.