Script: The Homemaker's Guide to Greekness P.2

The Homemaker’s Guide to Greekness

(Adaptation of Kalliroi Siganou - Parren’s The New Woman)

CHARACTERS

Mrs. Despina Memusselov - mother to Costas

Margaret (Midge) Myriou - wife of Costas

Costas Memusselov - son of Despina

*Dora and Georgie are mentioned

PREMISE

The year is July 1963 in Athens. Costas Memusselov, a wealthy Greek, marries Greek-American artist Margaret (Midge) Myriou after a whirlwind romance. Despina Memusselov, Costas’ traditional mother, was uninvited to the nuptials and is grappling with her son’s sudden attachment to a very non-traditional, Greek woman. 

SETTING

Midge’s partly furnished two-floor studio and apartment. The studio is mostly empty (except for a collection of canvases, a kitchenette, old easels, a couch, and a coffee table). On the walls are dozens of intricate paintings.

-

Act 3, Scene 6

Enter: COSTAS and MRS. DESPINA MEMUSSELOV.

Mrs. Memusselov carries with her freshly prepared Bougasta in a Pyrex. She is dressed elegantly and modestly, in clothes reminiscent of the mid-1950s rather than 1963. Costas stands beside her sporting a suit. A bouquet of white tulips has been carelessly tucked under his arm. MIDGE MYRIOU can be seen seated cross-legged on a stool near the window, splattering paint on a canvas freely. She is dressed in paint-splattered overalls and her hair has been pulled back by a bandana.

Costas: [entering the studio] Midge? 

Midge: [turning with a start] Costas! What are you - [looks to the clock on her wall, eyes widen with realization] Oh God, you’re here for tea! If you give me just a moment, I can run upstairs and change. I completely lost track of time!

Costas: I wouldn’t expect anything less from Europe’s next greatest artist. You look beautiful, as always. [to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] She’s already won over America. 

Midge: [crossing the room with a bright smile] If somehow managing to survive art school is your definition of success, then I’ll gladly take the win. [to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] Despina, it’s so wonderful to finally meet you! You know, with this move into the studio and the wedding...

Mrs. Memusselov: A thing of the past. It’s nice to finally meet you. [handing MIDGE the Pyrex] This is for you. It’s Bougasta! My daughter Lela insisted that we bring some over to you.

Costas: Or rather, demanded. She wouldn’t let us leave without it.

Midge: [accepting the Pyrex] They smell and look wonderful, thank you! My ma used to make these for me on the first day of school. 

Mrs. Memusselov: I’ll write down the recipe for you. It’s been passed down for generations of women in our family! Remind me to write down the recipe for you. They should still be warm, but you could put them in the oven for good measure.

Midge: Oh, I - I don’t have an oven yet. But the delivery is scheduled for this Saturday! [looking around] Maybe if I put them on the kitchen table, they’ll stay warm enough what with it being 35 degrees today. [walks over to the table with the Pyrex] I don’t know the first thing about making our traditional dishes! I’m not much of a cook or baker.

Mrs. Memusselov: [frowning] You don’t know how to make any Greek food? 

Midge: None! Except for maybe Spanakopita and Youvetsi. And none of my attempts for either of those have been as successful as I would have liked. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [whispering quickly to COSTAS] This is where she spends all her days? Painting and living on sandwiches? You told me you had a Greek wife. You married an American.

Costas: Greek-American. She’s an artist, Mama. It’s what she does. [loosening his tie] Who am I to stand in the way of that?  

Mrs. Memusselov: Her husband! I could think of a thousand better things for her to be doing with her time right now. Cleaning up this studio for one! [reaches to re-tighten his tie] By her age, I already had two children to raise.

Costas: [sighing] Mama, please. You said you would behave yourself.

Mrs. Memusselov: That was before I met the girl. 

Midge: [calling from the opposite end of the art studio] Should we sit down and catch up? I boiled some water not too long ago and can pour us some tea if you’ll get settled on the couch.

Mrs. Memusselov: [hesitantly] Alright...

Costas: Do you have any coffee left from your painting session last night with Dora?

Midge: I do! [walking towards the kitchenette] Dora opted for merlot instead while she was modeling for me. She was out like a light by midnight and left here for work about an hour ago. I was up all night working on the rest of the commissions.

Mrs. Memusselov: Commissions? 

Costas: [quietly to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] Dora is a friend of hers from art school. Midge has decided to start taking commissions from her customers to help pay for the studio.

Mrs. Memusselov: [with false interest] Oh! Well, that’s interesting.

Costas: Before you run over there. [taking the flowers from under his arm, he hands them to MIDGE] For my busy bride.

Midge: Flowers? You didn’t have to! [accepts the flowers before kissing him quickly] They’re beautiful Costas, thank you. [continues to the kitchen, flowers in hand]

Costas: She’s from New York too, no?

Midge: New Jersey, actually. [turning off the kettle] But I love her all the same.

Costas: Of course. [to his mother] Let’s sit? 

MIDGE walks over to the kitchenette and pours the cups of tea and coffee after placing her flowers in a vase. MRS. MEMUSSELOV lowers herself gingerly on the couch, avoiding a large splatter of paint. COSTAS stands behind it, rolling up his short sleeves. 

Costas: Comfortable, Mama? [MRS. MEMUSSELOV nods. MIDGE returns carrying the cups and hands them off before pulling over her stool. The three sit in uncomfortable silence and sip on their cups. The chime from a clocktower can be heard.]

Midge: [breaking the pause, speaking to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] How’s the tea?

Mrs. Memusselov: It’s very good. Delightful, even. 

Midge: [to COSTAS] And the coffee? 

Costas: Just what I needed. I’m glad Dora left the last of it for me and chose merlot. 

Midge: Merlot is always a good choice! And the traffic, was it bad? 

Costas: No, not at all. We avoided all the tourists the best we could. [nudging MRS. MEMUSSELOV] Wouldn’t you say so, Mama?

Mrs. Memusselov: [studying the studio with furrowed brows, clearly concerned] No… no traffic. 

Costas: They’re mostly American. Some English maybe.

Mrs. Memusselov: [halfheartedly to MIDGE] I see your studio is coming along well. It’s quite pretty! 

Midge: Thank you! I still have so much I want to add to it. [laughs lightly] Perhaps another chair would be useful. And that oven. 

Costas: It puts Picasso’s to shame! I saw it in Montmartre the last time I visited. 

Mrs. Memusselov: But yet he had nothing to be ashamed of. [turning to COSTAS] Picasso would have had his mother at his wedding.

Costas: Or Matisse. I’m sure his studio was not as nice as my Midge’s. 

Midge: [shaking her head] Thank you, although it’s nothing special.

Costas: That’s not true! This is “one in a million” as you always like to say. 

Midge: [shyly] I don’t ‘always’ say that...

The three once ago fall into an awkward silence. Neighbors can be heard arguing loudly next door. MRS. MEMUSSELOV continues to stir her tea. COSTAS stifles a yawn before  MIDGE speaks again. 

Midge: [picks up a bowl of candy and offers them to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] Would you like some candy? There should be a few chocolates in there if you riffle around a bit. My brother sent them over from the states in his last package. 

Mrs. Memusselov: I shouldn’t. I’d like to fit in my dress for church tomorrow! Once you start having those little ones, eating candy all the time will be a thing of the past. And so will your waist.

Midge: One chocolate couldn’t hurt, could it? 

Mrs. Memusselov: It could if you’re trying to look as good as you do now a year into your marriage. You’ll thank yourself later, I promise you! 

Midge: [smiling politely, puts the bowl down] Right, of course. I’m sure I’ll learn in time. 

Mrs. Memusselov: That reminds me. [opening her clutch] I have something for you! I picked it up when I last went shopping with Olgina. 

Midge: You really didn’t have to do that...

Mrs. Memusselov: But I did. Think of it as a late wedding gift since… well, since I didn’t have the chance to deliver it to you in person. 

Costas: [under his breath] Mother.

Mrs. Memusselov: With circumstances being as they were, of course.

Midge: Again, it was just so far and last minute. We didn’t want you to have to fly out on such short notice. 

Mrs. Memusselov: I heard. [putting down the cup of tea suddenly] Baghdad is a unique choice as a wedding destination. 

Midge: I thought so too when he first brought it up. But then he sat me down and showed me picture after picture of its people, architecture, and customs, and before I knew it, we were packing our bags and hopping on a plane. One day while we were there, I decided to plant myself in front of a Byzantine country chapel… [turning to COSTAS] do you remember the name of it? 

Costas: I can’t say that I do. [sheepishly] We went to so many places that each one began to resemble the last. [MIDGE’S smile falls slightly]

Midge: You forgot the name of the chapel we got married in? Costas, it’s where we got married. That makes it pretty different from the other ones we went to. 

Costas: [moving to sit next to his mother] No I did not say that. I probably have it written down somewhere in my notes from that week. You know my father has had me doing so much at work since we got back.

Midge: Which is why you haven’t been around lately, I know. You’ve told me enough times.

[turns to MRS. MEMUSSELOV appearing clearly shaken] Well, he surprised me there while I was painting. It must have been five in the morning because the sun was barely up and he said, “Must be nice to get married in that chapel. Would you want to try it sometime?” And I said no.

Mrs. Memusselov: [eyebrows raised] You said no? 

Midge: But then he wore me down and I said yes. We were married two days later and then it was off to Capri.

Mrs. Memusselov: [to COSTAS] So, getting married was all your idea? 

Costas: Yes, mama. It was my idea.

Mrs. Memusselov: Ah! Why am I not surprised? 

Costas: [quietly] Have I also forgotten to mention how nice you look today? I don’t think I’ve seen you wear that dress before. Is it French?

Mrs. Memusselov: Not now, Costas. [turning back to MIDGE] Please, tell me about the wedding? Don’t leave anything out.

Midge: [nods and sits forward] Right, well we got married at sunset. There weren’t many people in attendance, at least four or five people must have seen the wedding and decided they might as well watch. The chapel itself was gorgeous! I’ve never seen anything like it before and I doubt I will ever again. 

Mrs. Memusselov: And all the while you were there without a parent in sight! 

Midge: No, we had a mother there. 

Mrs. Memusselov: So the two of you decided to invite Midge’s mother and have her fly from America? [to COSTAS] You didn’t think to tell me about any of this? 

Costas: Midge, do you have anything stronger to drink in here? 

Midge: It’s barely 11 o’clock, Costas. [turning to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] We had the holiest mother of all! The Virgin Mary. It was a chapel, after all. 

Mrs. Memusselov: And who was it that performed the ceremony, Margaret?

Costas: [interjecting] Mama, you’ve asked enough questions for the day!

Mrs. Memusselov: This is the first I’m hearing about any of this. You showed me a picture or two and then you left on one of your errands for your father moments later. [turning back to Meg] The priest?

Midge: [shrugs with a smile] We found a priest. He barely knew how to read but he managed to bless our marriage all the same. And my bouquet had ivy and white wildflowers from the valley. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [sighing] Well, it sounds like it was lovely. I just wish I could have been there to see it. [reaches into her purse and pulls out an expensive-looking jewelry box] And here’s my present for the bride. 

Midge: Thank you, Despina. And thank you for being understanding about the wedding. We didn’t elope but I suppose it was close to it. [opens the box with a gasp] A charm bracelet! This is absolutely beautiful, Despina. And that stone! It’s so gorgeous. Costas, would you help me with the clasp? 

Costas: It has a clasp? [leans towards MIDGE, hands outstretched for the bracelet] Where? I don’t - oh there it is. [fastens the clasp for her] There. 

Midge: I have to give you something! [MIDGE rises, and strides towards one of the covered paintings lined up against her back wall. She chooses a painting of a nude Hermes]

Mrs. Memusselov: It’s nothing, Margaret! It’s just a little gift.

Midge: [excitedly] I’d like you to have this. It’s one of my best pieces: a modernist approach to the classic imagery of Greek mythology! I had a friend pose for it from the art institute and I think it turned out perfectly. Although I could work on the shading a little here… [leaning over to look at the painting more closely] and possibly here to… 

Mrs. Memusselov: [whispers to COSTAS while MIDGE is distracted] A nude man. She painted a nude man in this studio. Costas, she was alone in this studio painting a nude man. What good Greek wife would do that? What woman?

Costas: I know! [speaking more quietly] I know, Mama. I thought she only painted still life.

Mrs. Memusselov: And you’re alright with this? With the naked men? 

Midge: [still speaking to herself] His nose is all wrong. What did I do here? I should have gone back and added more of a highlight on the bridge rather than the left nostril… or the right. The right would make more sense if that light were coming from this direction.

Mrs. Memusselov: This is the type of painting she does! She paints naked men.  

Costas: [to MRS. MEMUSSELOV loudly] I know! 

Midge: [looking up, confused] I could wrap this for safe transport home for you if the back seat can be folded down. It has to lay flat, you see. Or maybe this one! [she leans the painting back against the wall and moves next to it, uncovering a painting of a flower arrangement] How about this one?

Costas: That one is quite pretty, isn’t it Mama? It’s small enough for us to carry with us. [MRS. MEMUSSELOV nods] You can cover that first one up again, Midge. I would not want it to collect dust or give my poor Mama a heart attack. [MIDGE does as asked and walks to the kitchenette]

Midge: More tea or coffee? Perhaps we could have some of the bougatsa you brought to me. Or we could go and see the rest of the apartment?

Mrs. Memusselov: Tea and bougatsa first before anything else. I was so upset this morning I didn’t have anything to eat before we left for your studio.

Midge: Wonderful. [begins transferring the bougatsa onto platters] I do have to make a quick phone call first. There’s an exhibition opening this Friday that I’m in the middle of planning for. I’ll be the only female artist there! Costas, give me a hand, would you?

Costas: No, not at all!  [rises from his seat on the couch and walks over to the kitchenette. He kisses MIDGE quickly before she leaves the studio. 

[Exit MIDGE.]

Mrs. Memusselov: My god… after everything your father and I have done for you. This is the woman you chose to marry, Costas? This is the woman who you say you want to spend the rest of your life with? [crossing the room to COSTAS, hands on her waist]

Costas: What do you want me to do about it, Mama?

Mrs. Memusselov: [scoffs] You’re a fool, Costas! We turn our backs and allow you to partake in whatever foolery you choose as long as you stay out of trouble. When you’ve come home drunk, we haven’t asked you any questions. 

Costas: And I’ve thanked you for that. 

Mrs. Memusselov: When you speak to us about money after gambling your money away, we give you more with no questions asked. We gave you a job, Costas, working for your father! The girls leaving your apartment day in and day out. [raising her voice] And you went and married one of them!

Costas: Keep your voice down! The wedding happened. We’re married and we can’t change anything. I didn’t do it behind your back, you knew I was there with her in Baghdad. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [leaning against the kitchen island across from COSTAS] That is not enough Costas, and you know it. You owed it to us to settle down with a nice Greek woman and send us an invite when you decide to fly to a foreign country and have a wedding! You owed it to us to find a wife that would act as a wife should. As a homemaker should.

Costas: [closing the Pyrex angrily] I’ve done everything you’ve wanted me to and somehow, it’s never enough for you. The least you could do is keep your opinions to yourself. Greek or American, she is still my wife! 

Mrs. Memusselov: Do you have any idea how much I’ve sacrificed for you? I’ve fixed every one of your mistakes. And now you’ve made another one that no one but God can fix. And you drink tea and go to her mindless art exhibits and pretend as if everything is okay. The poor girl! If you think I’m going to stand back and watch you tear your life apart then - 

[Enter MIDGE.] 

Midge: [speaking excitedly] I’m sorry that took so long! A different artist announced he couldn’t be part of the exhibition at the last moment, so I was offered his earlier slot. [hesitantly after noticing COSTAS and MRS. MEMUSSELOV in the kitchenette] What did I miss?

Costas: Not much. My mother was just sharing with me how comforted she feels having finally met you. She won’t stop saying how wonderful you are.

Midge: [to MRS. MEMUSSELOV] Oh. Well, thank you, Despina. That’s very kind of you to say. Let’s sit down at the table? 

Costas: Yes, I agree that might be best. [The trio moves to the kitchen table, carrying the cups and platters with them. They sit down.]

Midge: [takes a bite of her bougatsa] The bougatsa is wonderful! I’ll have to get that recipe from you when you get the chance. 

Mrs. Memusselov: You know what they say, the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. [dropping two sugars into her tea] 

Midge: The same could be said about women, couldn’t it? Not much has changed since I began my married life. [jokingly] Especially not my appetite.

Mrs. Memusselov: And you think Costas will provide you with everything you need to keep up this life of yours? You’ll ask for some spending money?

Midge: There’s two of us. We both have an income. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [pauses mid-sip of her tea] You’re going to keep working even though you’re married? I can’t say that you’ll find anyone else supportive of that in the company us Mumesselovs keep. The gossip will be brutal. 

Midge: Give them a few weeks to get to know me, and they won’t think it's odd at the least. Costas and I will normalize it. 

Mrs. Memusselov: Why work when you don’t need to? You’re a married woman now.

Midge: Because I can make a difference in this world through my art and through my volunteering. It means I can change things for the better.

Mrs. Memusselov: And who will raise the children when you’re doing all this? Who will keep the house and manage the funds? [continues sipping her tea]

Midge: If we have children, then I’ll find someone to look after them and the house when we’re busy. It can’t be that hard to find someone, can it? And I’ll get to work every day in a job I love. It’s fun. 

Mrs. Memusselov: Spending your days painting in an old studio is fun, yes. But it’s a hobby. It’s not a career. Leave that to the Americans! You’re in Greece now. It’s time you start acting like a proper Greek woman and stop being so selfish. Life is more than overpriced acrylic paints.

Costas: [reaching for more bougatsa] It’s just a job, Mama.

Midge: You’re right. Life for me is more than acrylic paints. It’s more than being a homemaker or the perfect greek woman. It is my ability to create art that changes lives that defines me! It’s my calling. I’m sorry you haven’t yet found yours beyond the house.

Mrs. Memusselov: [curtly] And I have fun playing cards. It doesn’t mean I should make money from it. It just means that it is something I enjoy playing or perhaps something that I could become skilled in. But I don’t expect to make money and shouldn’t expect to be taken seriously just because I believe it’s worthwhile. I am happy as a wife and a mother and always have been. My husband loves me, my children adore me, and I have made a name for myself as a Memusselov woman. As a Greek woman!

Midge: I’m no less a Greek woman than you are! [pauses to regain her composure then speaks thoughtfully] You know, I arrived in Athens three years ago today. I had barely turned twenty-one and it was my first time ever leaving the states. The weather was just like this too: somehow dry and humid at the same time. I hadn’t felt anything like it. I just wanted a fresh start, to prove to myself and everyone back home that I could make something of myself with a paintbrush. Painting makes me happy and I have no plans to give it up anytime soon. Falling in love while I was doing that was never part of the plan. I’m lucky enough to be married to him and I plan on making something out of that marriage too. Costas will be right by my side as I make something out of our new life together. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [looking to COSTAS] So you’ve decided to allow her to work? As your wife? 

Midge: [shaking her head in disbelief] Allow? I’m talking about our life together as husband and wife and you’ve reduced me to a servant. I’m not a housekeeper or a nanny. I’m his wife and I expect to be treated like it! We decided on all of this before we got married. His money has nothing to do with it. I’m going to keep working until I can’t move my brushes anymore. 

Costas: I could use a drink. [rising suddenly from his chair]

Midge and Mrs. Memusellov: [yelled in unison] Sit down, Costas!

Costas: [automatically sitting down] On second thought, I’m alright with coffee.

Mrs. Memusselov: That doesn’t happen for us! Don’t you see? You’re a wife now and god willing, you will be a mother. All of our joy and honor is found in keeping a home for your family and in being a good wife to your husband. That is what you agreed to when you took his last name. This is your new reality. 

Midge: Then understand that your reality is not mine. Costas and I are building our future together. If anything happens, we’ll face it together. Our household will be overflowing with love. I won’t be limited by what you have decided I can or can’t do as the new Mrs. Memusselov. I intend to make a name for myself. 

Mrs. Mumusselov: You’re a pretty girl, Margaret. Charming even. But you have too much imagination for your own good. The “new” is not always improved. [looks at her watch] Costas, the car is still waiting for us downstairs. It’s time for us to go. 

Midge: [stands up surprised] You’re leaving? 

Mrs. Memusselov: We are. His father doesn’t know we’re here. Men don’t always understand what’s good for them, you know. [glances in the direction of her son] And I couldn’t imagine he’d like the idea of us being here.

Midge: But we’re obviously not finished!

Mrs. Memusselov: I am and so is this conversation. [to COSTAS] Costas?

Costas: [rises from his chair and loosens his tie] Right, I’ll go check on the car and leave you two to decide on what to do with the paintings. 

[EXIT COSTAS.]

Midge: The painting I was working on when you came here; it’s for Georgie. I was planning on surprising her with it on her birthday but I don’t think I can anymore because I would have to come to your house. And I can’t. I realize that now. Costas told me that his father approved of us getting married. He told me that Mr. Memusselov would like me. But if I’m not welcome there, then I don’t know what to do.

Mrs. Memusselov: [crosses the studio and puts on her hat] If you’re painting something for Georgie… come by the house tomorrow morning. Let’s make it nine. None of the girls will be there and Costas and his father will be at work. You can finish it there. Whatever little tift you’ve had with her will get smoothed over. Again, I’m doing this for Georgie. You’ll have two hours.

Midge: Thank you, Despina. I’ll be there. 

Mrs. Memusselov: [pauses in the doorway] Keep the picture of the flower arrangements and of that naked man from the art institute. I’m sure you understand why I can’t have those hanging in my house.

[ENTER COSTAS.]

Costas: [from the doorway] Ready, mama? 

Mrs. Memusselov: We’ve come to an understanding about what to do with the paintings, haven’t we Margaret? 

Midge: Yes, I believe we have. I won’t be giving those paintings to your mother. Instead [she turns to MRS. MEMUSSELOV, suddenly confident] they’ll be opening the exhibition on Friday. They’ll be the stars of the show. 

Mrs. Memusselov: Well. Good luck. [walks past COSTAS and out the door]

Costas! [to MIDGE] I’ll see you tonight Midge. I’m sure your paintings will be the talk of the town, as you say! [follows his mother] 

[EXIT MRS. MEMUSSELOV and COSTAS.] 

Midge: [turns around to smile up at her paintings on the wall] And so will I as Mrs. Memusselov. It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? [places her hands on her hips]

[End Scene]